How to manage child’s behavior- 5 points that every parent should know
As parents of young children many times we find ourselves baffled and bewildered. It is so difficult to manage children at times, one moment they are a bundle of joy and next they turn into fire breathing dragons; stubborn, defiant, cranky, and are shrieking like banshees. They especially love to embarrass us in situations where we want them to behave well. We tend to give in to their demands when they misbehave. We either hand them a candy hoping they would hold their tantrums for some time or just get angrier and snap at them.
There are some tips that you can keep in mind while minding your child. One important thing to remember is that helping your child to understand how they should behave doesn’t happen in a day or two or that these tips work every time but it does help immensely to be well equipped with all strategies.
1. It is important to understand why the child is behaving the way he is. From where is this behavior coming from; this crankiness, stubbornness. Is it becoming a regular behavior or is happening once in a while. First thing first. Is your child hungry, tired, excessively stimulated, or under-stimulated or is in pain or discomfort. If he is any of those things. Take care of that first. Child’s behavior will automatically become better.
2. No matter how much we love or cosset our child we do need to have a set of rules for them to follow. If they are not aware of what is right or what is wrong explained to them, how would they know. We sometimes just assume that even young child would know wrong from right. There are some behavior which are absolutely no no. And, your child should know that.
3. It is worth noting that child learns from his or her environment i.e. from you and family. When a child is being troublesome it is important to note how you react in certain situations and also how you or other people in his immediate environment react in response to child’s certain behavior. Most of the times it is that we knowingly or unknowingly reinforce the troubling behaviours and completely ignore or are inattentive to any positive behavior child does.
4. Consistency in your own behavior i.e. parent’s behavior is important to let the child know that every time a his good behavior will be cherished and every time bad behavior will be unrewarded.
5. As parents we are not perfect nor should we expect that from ourselves. Similarly, we should not expect child to be perfect. Loosing temper with child, shouting, spanking or any other form of loud verbal or physical punishment in the long term actually makes the child more stubborn and unmanageable. Keeping a check on one’s own emotions is very important. If you need a quick break yourself do that. Rather than continuing to be in a situation with child where you are feeling out of control.
There are many more tips that as parents can help us engage positively with child and develop a healthy environment for them and also manage the behavioral problems if any.
It is also important to seek help from counselors, child psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health experts if you feel the need or if the situation is difficult to manage. There is no shame in seeking help or talking about your child’s behavior or mental health.